My best friend died yesterday

Ever since I found out I haven't stopped crying. I cried all night. I was thinking of her while I slept (although I know I slept very little) and when I woke up there were tears in my eyes still. My children loved her so very dearly also. My stepdaughter told me last night she was like another mother to her. She was the Godmother to my two little girls. She was my spiritual mentor; someone I laughed with; someone I cried with; now there is a hole in my heart where she belonged.

I want to write about this. I want to find my words and let some of this anguish go.

My friend walked side by side with the Lord during her life. She let anyone and everyone know how strongly she felt about her Savior and trusted in Him completely. Despite the heartache of watching her children from a previous nanny position move half way across the world to Australia, the Lord sent her to our family. She didn't want to be a nanny again, her heart ached still from missing her first two children she cared for. God called her and she came to us. We hired her as our nanny for our children while I was pregnant with my daughter Paige. My husband had just gotten full custody of his three children, and we also had my son. My pregnancy with my daughter Paige was a very rough one, I was on bedrest for most of the last trimester and I ended up having Paige taken via c-section when I was 38 weeks.

Sheila and I became instant friends. We even shared the same middle name, and we both favored the color purple, and we even said the same table prayer. We were the best of friends despite our 20 year age difference.

Sheila nannied our five children until the Lord brought David, the man she married (she was previously widowed), into her life. We had a hard time seeing her go. She did so many wonderful things for our family. Our son Sam (my stepson) benefited the most from her presence in our family. He suffered from a condition called sensory defensiveness. He ate very little when my husband got custody of him, and what he did eat was nutritionally imbalanced, Sam was deathly ill. She was the one to get Sam to eat. As a result, Sam flurished in her care.

My friend always had a smile on her face. She was quick to laughter and rarely got angry. She would talk your ear off if you let her. The only time she was quiet and without words was when she wasn't feeling well. She prayed without ceasing. She prayed for me and for my family constantly. I feel guilty for not remembering to pray for her as much as she did for me.

Sheila never had children of her own. She was pregnant a few times, but each time she miscarried. She had always wanted children. This is the main reason why she wanted to be a nanny.

My friend had the singing voice of an angel. She was very gifted musically. She even sang a solo at my youngest daughter's baptism.

I am happy for my friend. I know she is is up in heaven meeting her babies for the first time. I know she is back together with her first husband and I know she sitting down chatting it up with the Lord. And when she can, I know she is singing with the angels. She is free from pain and she has left this horrible nasty world behind.

Goodbye my friend, may you rest in peace.